Mom?

I can't tell you how many times I have had instances where I had to pull something out of my ass in response to a stupid question, but THIS takes the cake...

Joe: Mom? Why do I have butt cheeks?

Mom: *deer in headlight look*

Joe: *serious*

Mom: Well... my son, you know that over the eons we've gained abilities or lost them in our evolutionary process that ended up in what we'll refer to as Man. We developed butt cheeks millions and millions of years ago when we were but Neanderthals.

Joe: Huh?

Mom: Yeah, you see Man had wings in the Flatulatious Period but they were useless since Man was so full of shit that they were too heavy to fly. Then over millions of years the wings sorta disappeared or rather took a different shape and look of the Butt cheek we know today and were finally useful to Man.

Joe: Like what uses?

Mom: Well, they developed this skill to ward off the prehistoric predators by vibrating the deadly gases that escaped the "Holio Arifus" and it made animals run away in blind pain. Among other things, I'm sure. I'm not learned on Paleontology but I'm sure we can look it up on the Internet later.

Poo: *just stood there*

Joe: And what else?

Mom: I bet you didn't know this but even millions of years ago, Man was working to save nearly extinct mammals. The buttcheek was very useful in the effort to detain the Southern Migratory Turtle.

Joe: Oh gawd...*laughing on floor*

Poo: Really?

Mom: Omg, LOL!

I love my children...