Little Pink Houses

This morning I read a bulletin from an old friend (and I hope she forgives me when I say old but she is the same age as me and I AM older than snot) discussing the downfall of the place we both grew up in when we were younger. When you think of things of your youth, one usually romantizes and remembers things the way they were right down the the marks left in a tree of that particular boy or girl you liked at age 9 or the park you monotonously drove around for hours after school only to stop long enough to run in for a slice of La Roni's pizza or a round of pool. Not to mention let your kids go to the park unattended and worry not. You waved at neighbors for no reason and sometimes even brought them a homemade pie or fresh pickens from your garden.

It was Coooool.

I remember those things. Even remembered the time I walked into a stop sign cus I couldn't quite take my eyes off this boy I liked hoping maybe that day he would hold my hand. I recall a day in the park on a tetter totter with a friend my age, trying to see how far we can "bump" each other when hit the ground. Then feeling very very bad when I did a big one, sending that girl face and lip down on the wood causing her some major pain. Or the jungle gym we sat in with 4 other friends playing truth or dare. The Fall Festival were that boy FINALLY kissed me for the first time.

Times have changed. The tree with the heart carved in it is now cut down to make room for an empty lot, the park is now stands in trashy ruins with broken lamps and odd furniture laying about. Teeter totter is gone and replaced by cold metal "Safe" but in need of repair play things. But Hey! That girl came out ok. She remembers LeRoy, too. That's why she wrote that bulletin. The pizza place is still there just stands empty like 3/4 the shops up town. The pool hall? Well don’t go in there. Unless of course you're in there for one purpose and one purpose only. There's people on the street, maybe. But what you see are just mindless zombies merely existing to make it home and closing the door on life fleeting by. People lock there doors at night and God forbid you wave at anyone because it can be construed as a gang sign or attempt on someone's life. Don't forget to close your curtains, as well, because, if you haven't forgotten, your business is there business.

I did some more thought and remembered a lot more. I didn't know till I left LeRoy but none the less it happened. Happened a lot. Mom was a great woman. Raised two goofy kids, taught us to know better when confronted with peer pressure and most of all, sheltered us from all that might have harmed us amidst social and economical diversity. We became upstanding individuals among citizens that led dirty and scandalous lives, leading us to eventually question their moral ambiguity and learning the truth. Its amazing that the town of LeRoy has lasted this long.

What fuel drives it? Power. Money. Greed. Envy. I'll tell you the same I told her.

Take a look at history my friend. Ever wonder why it wasn't until the 90s that a coloured family was able to reside in the area? Ever wonder what goes on at town meetings when its a closed session? Lots of wonders, skepticism, fear has had this town in its grips since the land was cleared and ripped away from the Indians 200 years ago. Whether they're wearing white sheets, blindfolds, or dunce hats, this town is being choked to death by its own ignorance. Unfortunately it happens everywhere. Just more prominent in a smaller town only because they believe they can get away with it.

Look around you. How many people do you really know anymore? Look again and ask yourself how many people can you really trust. It may not be evident to the passerby and prospective homeowner but LeRoy, a town of about 3k is made up of very few people.

First there's the The Hypocritical Supremacy that rules the roost. Now that doesn't necessarily mean they sit at the heart of the town. It's the closet KKK member (obviously a generational development), vigilante or, for lack of better terms, the pimp that pushes their beliefs down your throat. Either you get high off on the feeling and be played like a puppet or be thrown to the dogs and ripped apart for not conforming to their "drug". Hell they even own the ability to make your life miserable even nonexistent for merely farting in your own home then turn around and ripping one in public that gags you and the neighborhood. Its the obvious

"Paid protection program" that only a few are privy to.

The "Scratch my back and slip me a $50 and I didn't see a damn thing".

Or my favorite, "I love you, *smokes cigarette* if you will excuse me I have to meet my wife at the school board meeting so we can discuss our teens, abstinence and family values in less than 5 *washes the sex off genitals and runs out the door"

And last but not least "Behind closed door policy" where if you press your ear firmly but quietly you can hear everyone talking about you, your neighbor and their best friends and we're not talking about how nice your hair looks either, honey...

And when I refer to supremacy I don't mean the size of your pocket book. Don't get me wrong, money does by a lot in LeRoy. But you can blame society as a whole there because that happens everywhere. Sometimes its all in a "Name". Sometimes its all in how you look. And other times its all in how you stand up to conformity. I'm talking about the people that believe their way is the only way, the ones who are so filled with the power taken from others that they toy and play with your very existence just because it gives them some sort of sick amusement. I'm sorry, the colour of your skin is too dark, you have to move.

I'm sorry, but you belong to a family of less than substantial monetary development, you need to live on THAT side of town.

I'm sorry , did I key your car, kill your dog, and/or break your teeth, window, and will to live? Well you shouldn't have done what you did in the first place. Besides you must have me mistaken for someone else…

Did you go to church Sunday and listen to the Pastor's sermon about Love Family and all that stuff? No, I didn't but I did see the Pastor leaving her house at 2 in morning before her husband got home...

OMG! Your kid got beat up by my kid for looking at him the wrong way, WHAT are YOU going to do about it!?!

There's The Following Pessimist who lifts their glass to their Lord and Leader then realizes their cup is half empty, profusely leaking disdain towards the people that have cups runith over and shrug at the peasants whose cup is empty. They are the ones that are allergic to change so they take their medicine and hope the symptom goes away instead of getting rid of the cause because they believe they are too weak to stand up for themselves... They are the ones who hear the speech that boasts longevity, effort and freedom but turn a deaf ear on their own abilities to let go and be more just because, eh I don't know, it wouldn't work anyway, right? They are the narrow minded individuals who see only one pea on the plate when in the middle of a feast, dine and go hungry for the mere fact that that's what everyone else is doing, why bother with the effort. They are the ones being led down a path that leads not to a cross road but to a dead end yet pack the car up for the vacation anyway.

Do I need to explain more on that issue. Why bother feeding an already starving society when their going to die anyway right? Their parent, grandparents and ancestors lived there, that's where they are. I'll just let them go on their merry oblivious way….

Don't get me started on the "Jones" Act, dress, eat, sleep, and defecate just like me and everything will be OOOK.... While they payoff Lord and Leader and shut the blinds to the world that just aren't good enough to be "them"

The Wayward Optimist is a very small group made up almost entirely of Good doers who don the parka and hand out the life preservers while holding on for dear life as they ride out the storm on an obvious sinking ship, oblivious to the rats abandoning for good reason. They are the ones who have the potted plants on the front porch and white picket fences. Mow the lawn even when the grass doesn't grow and they show up at school functions even after their kids have graduated and moved away. They take an afternoon and volunteer for the clean up and restoration projects for the sake of the community, not themselves. They are the ones who look in on their neighbors just to say Hi without fear of being shot and or cursed at for invading ones privacy. They are the ones who go to McD's, order an extra meal and deliver it to the homeless man walking thru town.

Their efforts, no matter the intent, sometimes ends up misdirected and unseen like that starving homeless man wanting warmth and sustenance, not money, but a meal and blanket, spat at by the obese bully slobbering on a corndog wearing designer clothes and jewelry, and a pair of pants that's dragging half off his ass cus of all the lunch money he's stolen from the kiddies at school. Can't knock them for trying really though. But that's the sort of effort that's made invisible by the people, your neighbors, friends and enemies, who loathe and fear change they don't understand.

Now I said wayward for a reason. Sometimes people lose sight of their intentions and take on that "I refuse to let you get ME down" attitude but in the end give up. You know that feel you get from when people begin to hate you for being that one little ray of fucking sunshine and browbeat you down to almost nothing...then....you get so tired of fighting a losing battle that you become envious when you see that the grass is greener "over there" Yet know you can overcome animosity so you try and try and try then end up the outcast thus leaving all together, either forced or at your own will.

A town that once bustled with elegance and family value on the surface is now a ghost town littered with empty homes, empty lives, for sale signs and drug paraphernalia... Sinking ship? I'm the rat that abandoned it. I left. I'm happy for doing so. Where did I go? To another town and city where it still happens. Different faces, different situations, different dangers, I became a different person.