A Guilded Cage

I've been worried about a friend lately. He's been distant and quiet. I've sat in silence wondering whether I should say anything but finally spoke up and asked him what had been wrong thinking that his behavior was from something that I had done. All he's been able to do is to shoot me a look of confusion and say it wasn't about me and would like to keep that way. That was my clue to back off but being who I am, I haven't let it go and I'm sure I've frustrated him even further by doing so but I can't sit idle knowing someone I love was in pain and I wanted to help, yet I believe my place is just to listen…

Being stubborn has some fine qualities for a few select things, but when it comes to suppressing something that could only relieve an insurmountable amount of pressure, being so only makes it worse. My friend needs to find someone to talk to. Maybe someone totally removed from his situation; maybe someone who knows what to say when nothing should be said at all.

I can tell he's searching for answers and perhaps they are for impossible questions but pursuing none the less. We've all been there. By "There" I mean a place in Life where it seems extremely difficult and foreboding; where what had always been right was now clouded and confusing. We begin to feel lost or trapped in our own creation and sometimes getting up every morning is more difficult than the self inflicted purgatory we exist in. We roll out of bed and fall immediately to our knees pleading for relief from all this chaos that we have no doubt inflicted upon ourselves.

I'm trying my damnedest to be the best friend I can be regardless of our circumstance but sometimes I feel as if what I say will be met with animosity and refused, so most times…I stay quiet. What I really want to do is to take the burden from his shoulders if it was possible but honestly, this man needs to find his own answers and his own way. I just wish I could show him a direction other than the path he's going down. And going down he is. He's headed for the wall that he will no doubt slam his head against in frustration and ultimately hurt himself in the process.

I wish there was something I could say that would help regardless the risk of saying too much. But quite frankly, help has to come from with in this man. I wanted to stress that in the pursuit for direction, all we need to do is to remember where we've been and when we meet up with the crossroad we need to let our heart guide us to our next destination.

Being burdened with so much lately, I'm sure his heart is heavy and has no idea which way to go or which way to turn.

He once said he felt trapped. My, what a pretty bird we see, trapped in a gilded cage. Yearning to be, wanting to be, needing to be set free. Lest we forget, in true regret, our wings could have carried thee. Our gilded cage is a mere illusion of duty and obligation but that, by no means, assumes that we must be held prisoner. Not saying he mustn't honor whatever it is that he feels he's burdened with but it doesn't mean he can't do so from a distance and not be held in self contempt or accountable for something that is beyond his means. He is merely a man, a mortal with boundaries and limitations and he can not do everything that is wanted of him. Maybe it's time to learn the word "No". Perhaps it's time to say what needs to be said before he finds himself in situations that he can not get out of, such as a gilded cage.

He's a strong man, that I know. I've known him for too long not to. Over the years, yes he's changed some but the core has stayed the same. I feel there is a good man inside fighting off his own demons and leaving the man on the outside alone and confused. This man, my husband, instead of searching the world wide for something he perceived to have been missing, needs to inquire within and perhaps he'll find what he never lost. He just needs to believe in himself again.

A hard task indeed but as a friend, I'll be ready and waiting for the day he finds it. I'll sit in silence if that is what he needs at the moment. I'll sit next to him if he needs support and I'll stand behind him if his army of one isn't enough. I'll just be there, if he needs to go it alone.

I want only the best for him.

I just want him to be happy,

Because...

I love him very much.